Guy Dressed in Tracksuit Demands Endless Cash from America for His War with Russia

Dmytro Larin /
Dmytro Larin /

The only thing more ridiculous than the brutal dictator of Ukraine demanding endless cash from the American taxpayers is the way that American politicians hurl themselves at his feet to begin eagerly licking his boots. Have you ever seen anything this pathetic?

Amazingly, Supreme Dictator Vladimir Zelensky of Ukraine issued another demand just the other day for a never-ending stream of cash from Americans. Amazingly, almost no one in Washington, DC has been willing to stand up and say, “Good luck with your little ‘war’ there, tracksuit guy. We’ve got our own problems.”

When asked about the possibility of the now Republican-controlled House of Representatives showing some fiscal restraint and cutting him off, sugar baby Zelensky demanded, “If they do not change their opinion, if they do not understand us, if they do not support Ukraine, they will lose NATO, they will lose the clout of the United States, they will lose the leadership position that they enjoy in the world.”

Oh, no! What would we do without NATO?!

Zelensky, who recently banned an entire Christian denomination in Ukraine because he’s on the side of democracy, continued: “They will also lose the support of [Ukraine] with 40 million people, with millions of children. Are American children any different than ours?”

Well, for one thing, American taxpayers value the lives of American children more than we do the lives of children in Ukraine. So, there’s that. If you value the lives of your own children so much, maybe you shouldn’t have picked a fight with a much larger country that you never had any hope of winning, tracksuit guy.

The idea that the United States is somehow going to suffer in any way if Putin turns Ukraine into a parking lot is baffling to anyone who has been paying attention. What vital interest does Ukraine provide to America?

Take a look through your kitchen cupboards and refrigerator. Do you have any foods grown in Ukraine there? What about household products? Was your dishwasher produced in Ukraine? Do we get our ibuprofen from them, or our lawnmowers, or our pets? Is there anything that America receives from Ukraine?

Probably 99.9% of Americans have no connection whatsoever to Ukraine in their day-to-day lives, and no products that we would lose that would impact our daily lives if Ukraine loses this war. Nothing would be different about your life tomorrow if Ukraine is totally crushed today.

Ukraine is the money-laundering nexus of the world, and that’s the only reason why our political class continues to listen to a guy who dresses like a strip club manager in a tracksuit. The money-laundering is the whole point. It’s why the Romneys and the McConnells and the Bidens here in America so desperately don’t want Vladimir Putin rolling in and showing the whole world what the criminals in the American government have been up to there.

Aside from money laundering, the CIA and Hunter Biden-connected countries were doing bioweapons research in Ukraine. Joe Biden and the Republicans and Democrats in Congress have sent at least $200 billion to Ukraine so far, with Biden announcing billions more just a few days ago during his fake press conference with Zelensky the Dictator.

They’ve sent $0 to East Palestine, Ohio, to help the poor American citizens who had millions of gallons of toxic chemicals spilled in their water. Sorry, peasants! Nothing for you! We’re too busy helping the tracksuit guy halfway around the world, who is threatening to embroil us in a nuclear world war with Russia and China if we don’t keep sending him his allowance!