Apparently, “Crack Bears” Are a Danger in FL?

StelsONe /
StelsONe /

Florida State Congressman Jason Shoaf is an avid hunter per his autobiography, and perhaps that will explain his latest measure. Talking to the FL legislature about House Bill 87, it would remove penalties for killing bears without authorization.

“We’re talking about the ones that are on crack, and they break your door down, and they’re standing in your living room growling and tearing your house apart. When you run into one of these crack bears, you should be able to shoot it, period. And you shouldn’t have to pause or be afraid you’re gonna get arrested or harassed or pay fines. That’s just crazy.”

Currently, the state of Florida is estimated to have a bear population of just 4,050. Reports of bears being high on crack just aren’t present, and stories of them breaking into homes are damn near nonexistent. When speaking to reporters, he claimed his previous comments were taken out of context, and that he’s talking more about bears that create a nuisance that are near towns. With multiple stories of them toppling trash cans and such, he thinks Floridians need to be especially worried about the danger they could present.

Adam Sugalski is the executive director for One Protest; he and over 20,000 others think this is an unneeded law. “He says that under current law you can’t kill a bear in self-defense if the bear enters your home. That is untrue. We already have a right to self-defense against any person or animal that we kill because we reasonably believe our lives or our loved ones, pets included, are in danger. His description of bears is, of course, grossly exaggerated. Bears are not the man-eating monsters he would like you to believe they are.”

While FL has had reports of black bears all over, from the beaches to Magic Kingdom in Orlando, they largely avoid humans. A bill like this is nothing more than the “He’s coming right for us!” from Uncle Jimbo in South Park circa 1997.